My last journal said I have 111 people watching me.
My active watcher check poll comes up with 52 people. (I had to vote once to be able to see the results. I hate that.)
I checked the stats again. Someone stopped watching me. 110 people now.

Anyway what was the point? I'm not sure. I found it kind of funny. NEXT TOPIC!

I've gotten into a sort of art block. I start heaps of stuff and never finish it.

I'm kinda sorta doing the sketch a day thing. Except it's not a day. I won't do it for a week or something, then bring out half a dozen sketches in an hour or so.

I'm coming down with some sort of sickness. I've got everything from muscle soreness, I start burning up at random times then it goes away. Foggy-minded. Sleeping a LOT. There's probably more but I can't think.

Going through lots of stress, mostly because of my parents. I've been letting things slip because of it.

I won't be able to talk to my best friend much for a while.

People find me intimidating apparently. On two different horse games, I've had several people admit to being intimidated by me. I'm sorry.. what?!
Finding this out always comes as a shock. I mean seriously, I don't understand it. Very few people have been able to actually tell me why they were/are feeling like that.

Is it something I say? Or do? Are people on dA intimidated by me too?

I turned off pageviews. This means I can't see mine and I can't see yours.
I wish instead they would give an option for me to stop people from viewing my page views. I think people get too hyped up about 'zOMG someone has more pageviews than me.. *jealousRageHate* that must mean they're better or somethin!!!' Erm no. It probably means they've been here longer than you and probably means they get more 'attention' because they perhaps comment on other peoples art more or something.
You won't get a lot of pageviews by lurking in the shadows hoping they'll just come to you. If you want them so badly, do something to get them. I don't mean trace art like a certain anime fan artist. I mean comment on other peoples stuff or something.

My sister and her fiance have started planning my 18th b'day celebrations. They were going to keep it a secret then remembered I have really bad anxiety and made the (right) choice to tell me the plans. First off, dinner in a restaurant in the city, then we go to the Star City Casino, then head off to a nightclub. To be honest none of this interests me in the slightest.
1. I hate eating in public. It makes me sick to my stomach.
2. A casino..? Why? It's noisy, gambling/throwing away money isn't exactly what I'd find fun. Unless I was betting on the races. I'm pretty good with that.
3. A night club? Good god, WHY?! Unless I'm pretty fucking drunk I'll be too nervous to do anything besides sit in the corner wishing I was at home.

Those coming to my 'celebration' so far? My sister. Her fiance (hate him). My brother (hate him). And who ever else they can dig up. My brother probably won't even show (thankfully) but if he does he'll be really late and either drunk or high. Possibly both.

Oh yeah. For those of you who don't know already.. Like it says. I suffer pretty extreme social anxiety.

It even affects me online.
It's the main reason I don't often comment/reply to comments/say thank you for stuff/ comment on your journals, etc.

I get too nervous.

Sorry.